Filed under: Dating
Tall Dude: If we both like 32-33 and not married let’s just get married K? You can be my safety valve. K Thx.
Short Girl: hahaha safety valve hahaha
Tall Dude: 
Short Girl: You realize that is only 6 years away. FML
Tall Dude: alksjd Better get crackin or you stuck with ME!
Tall Dude: He was boning a girl in the butt…and well…some stuff fell out. aklsdj
Short Girl: WOAH why are boys so filthy?
I would buy a cat now and get it over with if they weren’t equally as filthy to me.
Filed under: Dating | Tags: anchorman, deaf girl, failed attempts at pick up lines, pervert
Tall Dude: I learned how to say, “I want to be on top of you” in sign language. Deaf chicks here I come!
Short Girl: lol
Tall Dude: Thanks for the courtesy ‘lol”…you’re a peach.
Short Girl: I am just picturing you walking around trying it out.
From left to right: PERVERT LECHEROUS
Filed under: Dating, Random | Tags: affliction, bad idea, functional fashion douche
Short Girl: “Sense of hummar” FAIL!
Tall Dude: LOLOLOL Some people just suck. I saw a guy wearing an Affliction shirt yesterday and laughed out loud…
Short Girl: HAHA yeah I giggle, some guys can do it…
Tall Dude: And he was pushin’ 40.
Short Girl: Others it only enhances the douche… it is a fine line.
(NOTE: Unless you are in UFC, chances that you can pull off a wardrobe dripping with (and I do mean A LOT of) Affliction, TapOut, Ed Hardy, etc… are slim)
Tall Dude: Sigh, still can’t believe that chick just blew me off. wtf…no bueno.
Short Girl: Yeah that is so lame.
Tall Dude: If I had a trunk monkey I’d sick it on her.
I don’t have to buy a Christmas present though.
There’s a positive to everything
Short Girl: Well, I had a giant ball dropped on me this weekend if it makes you feel better.
Tall Dude: askldj, WTF
Short Girl: Might have to break things off with the guy.
Tall Dude: Oh… a proverbial ball.
Filed under: Random | Tags: breakfast back track, hacker, jerk, Taiwanese kid
Tall Dude: Except I don’t wear PJ’s, I’d be sitting there in my underwear
How’s that for a mental image ehhhhhh? hehehe
Short Girl: lol
Tall Dude: You’re like, “I just threw up my breakfast…thanks asshole.”
Short Girl: Basically, but I was biting my tounge.
Tall Dude: alksdj 
I knew I missed your snarkiness. The day you say, “Zack…you’re swell” is the day I claim your computer has been hacked my a 12-year-old Taiwanese kid.
Tall Dude: Chester Copperpot just text my mother apologizing profusely.
Aapparently he thought he sent a pic of his dick to my mother.
………..
I’m speechless
Short Girl: WOAH
what
THE
FUCK
Tall Dude: haha No shit! My mom calls me saying “Chester text me 6 times in a row apologizing.”
Apparently he thought he sent a pic of his dick to EVERYONE in his address book that he was meaning to send to his g/f.
Luckily he didn’t send. Praise god! Exactly why he not my friend anymore.
Short Girl: lol
Tall Dude: I can’t believe my ex girlfriend hated Flight of Conchords. What a whore.
Tall Dude: Blaring MmmmBop in my headphones right now, fucking awesome.
Short Girl: Fucking gay, friendship OVER.
